Sunday 17 May 2009

Turning 26 - Part II

Had a great Sunday at GOLD COAST, Morib.

So I’ve turned 26 this year. It’s an anti-climactic event really. Yes, I’m one year older.

I like to think that I’m a very strong, optimistic person with a positive outlook on life. Yet I’m getting pretty edgy about turning 30 soon. I’m not sure why. The feeling is so incompatible with the rest of my life.

My friends kindly point out that I already have my own business, and it's running pretty well, a house, gone through various difficulties in life, travelled, worked overseas – WHAT MORE DO I WANT?

I answer, “A soul mate, and MORE maybe?”

“What MORE IS THERE??”

Perhaps this MORE is a spiritual one – who am I, and what am I actually here on earth for? – Rather than the pursuit of a bigger house, bigger entertainment system and more expensive holidays.

I guess I genuinely feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. Accomplished what? I don’t know. I feel like I haven’t quite reached my potential – that I’ve been dabbling around the edges of something significant for most of my life.

I feel like I haven’t yet been able to fully spread my wings and SOAR over the world like I was supposed to. And something in me is burning and bursting to break out.

Ah, it sounds ridiculous.

On the other hand, I still feel like I’m 17. I still feel like a silly teenager, happy, girly, irresponsible and selfish. Deep down I don’t feel like a “grown up”. Will I ever feel like a grown up? Will I always feel 17?

And on the other OTHER hand, I know that there’s still SO MUCH in life to try, learn and experience! So much to do! I want it all! Life! Needs to be lived!

6 comments:

enigma said...

thats great.....let the brains grow mature but ur heart forever young

said...

Haha..like the last word u said --- life needs to be lived! ^^

Ya...Mentality goto keep growing up. But soul, better to keep young. =p
(i think 18 should be enough!!! XD)

Sometimes really cant understanding you! y u still cant recognized that u r now flying on the sky??? like an angle.......

jess said...

wah Fong, ur "high hat" is to big for me, it doesn't suits me.. =p

haha..anywyas thx for the encouragements..and dun worry, you aren't the only one who doesn't understand.. *smile*

enigma said...

and abt the soul mate...these kinda things just happen...even if u knew who it was u wouldnt be able to make any advancement towards a relation unless the stars foretell.....an interesting female like u would certainly gain a very supportive and compatible soulmate.....cheers to music....

enigma said...

n yes do read brida-paulo coelho.....will help.......

said...

Ya....T.T....mayb goto take times to read u!