Living with Style and Spirit: An Everyday Thing

Some time ago, someone sent me an email about “How to Find Balance in Your Life”.

I’m not sure who the original author was, but I really liked it, and I thought it would be fantastic to share with everyone.

I also found a report on Times Online, about how scientists in the UK did a study and found the “5 Steps to Happiness and Wellbeing” or something like that.

I combined them and added a few ideas to share below.

So this is my list of 5 Things To Do Everyday:

1. Do something enjoyable.

Enjoyable things can be simple acts that are easy to do, don’t cost very much, and don’t take much planning.

Just sitting quietly in my garden and enjoying a cup of tea is very enjoyable for me! I love baking. I like to paint my toenails. Read a chapter of my book. Chat to a girlfriend. I like to plan to visit a new place, and discovering something new and cool. I really enjoy journaling and writing.

Of course, a girly pamper is always nice – facials, haircuts, manicures, pedicures, massages.
Take time to really enjoy them. Allow yourself to glow with happiness each day.

2. Do something active.

Spend 30 minutes of your day working up a sweat! Get your heart rate up! Skip. Swim. Run up and down steps. Go for a jog. Ride a bike. Find a step, turn on some music, and do a step workout. Do squats and leg lunges. Go to the beach and have a run. Take a stroll. Do some gardening. Kick a ball in the park with your pet.

Try playing a sport like squash, tennis, soccer, badminton, netball. Sign up to an exercise class, yoga or pilates. Try body jams, or kickboxing just for fun.

3. Do something brainy, challenging or intellectual.

Spend at least 30 minutes a day exercising your brain! Read a book. Read a newspaper. Watch the news. Write a letter. Memorise a song. Do a puzzle. Go to the library and pick up a book in a subject that has always fascinated you. Learn something new each day.

Learn a new skill. Try sewing. Try fixing something. Try making something. Try cooking something. Try organising a lunch for friends on the weekend.

4. Do something good for someone else.

Call up a friend. Offer to help in some way. Bake some cupcakes for a girlfriend and bring it around.

Smile or say hello to a stranger. Let someone with less shopping into the queue in front of you. Do a good deed. A small kind act. Spread some happiness.

You’ll find that if you go about your day thinking, “How can I be nice to someone?” you’ll often find many unexpected opportunities to do so.

5. Take one moment to savour life and your surroundings.

This is my favourite. Whether you are in the car, or walking along, or at home – take a moment to think about something good in your life, or in your surroundings.

Take notice of something beautiful. Look at the details of a building you walk past everyday. Look at the shape of the clouds, remember them, and compare them with the clouds the next day.

Love

These last few days, I’ve been thinking about my relationship.

Yes, we’ve gone through some trying times. But despite all that, him and I, our relationship, it’s pretty damn amazing.

Loving. Full of happiness. Full of massages. Love songs before sleep. Meaningful conversations about things that matter. Daily giggles about random silliness. Delicious food and healthy living. Long hugs. Quiet moments. Lots of laughter. Mutual adoration, honesty and support. The highest regard for each other. And a passion for living.

Everyday he makes me want to be a better person.

I’m crazy in love.

In terms of our temperaments and personalities, I believe we’re very different.

But we share the same values, feelings and goals towards things like family, friends, health, work, money, stress, holidays, how we spend out time, our future plans.

Everyday he tells me how much he loves and cares for me, and loves his life with me. Sometimes it’s silly, sometimes it’s random, and sometimes it brings a tear to my eye.

I’m indeed one lucky woman.

Personal Goals - August 2009

Hey, we’re up to month number 8 already!

So once again, here are what I'm doing and what I'm trying to achieve for this month.

1) Look After My Skin

i) Wear sun cream. Use a good quality moisturiser with at least SPF 15+. Apply in the morning and re-apply in the afternoon. I’ve switched my day moisturiser, tinted-moisturiser and foundation to products with SPF.

ii) Cut down on chocolate. Too much sugar is really bad for skin. I have to be honest with myself, there are only 3 days in the month that I actually NEED CHOCOLATE. So there is a complete ban on chocolate for the other 28 or so days! Wish me luck!

iii) Give up coffee! Too much caffeine is absolutely evil for your skin and body! So I don’t touch the stuff any more.

iv) Drink more water. I’m always reluctant to drink more when it’s too busy and cold.

v) Get more sleep. Most of the day I’ve been getting to bed only after late night. Trying to get to bed earlier, say like 11pm/12am and get up by 6am for morning runs.

2) Improve my fitness
I haven't been sweating much for weeks, arghh I need to do some swimming and runs!

3) Get Organised!!
I’m all over the place! I have so much happening these next two months!!!

4) Find 5 things to be thankful for.
Some days I am skipping with happiness or energy. Other days I’m miserable with despair and frustration. I’ve found a nice habit to do – whether it is a good day or a bad day – to find 5 things to be thankful for.

5) Re-energise myself daily.
I try to get some rest during the day. I can’t nap. So instead, I find some quiet time to lie down for at least 30 minutes each day.

6) Save money!
I’m being much more mindful about the money I spend. Eep!

Happiness

Wow that one crept up on me. I remember it was January not so long ago. Now we’re halfway through the year.

6 months have gone. And there are 6 months left. What happened? What did I achieve? What were the highlights? And now, what am I going to do with the rest of the year?

Out of habit, I like to claim July for myself. All of it.

I like to indulge myself a little. I like to buy myself something new. I like to organise a party for myself, or two. I like to think of something I’ve always wanted to do, and heck, just do it.

I also like to sit back and remember the good things in my life. I like to celebrate the stuff that really matter.

My God, my life has been changed.

Most of the days, I went out to dinner, movie, and do some outdoor activities with my love. We have so much to say to each other. I’m astounded that I’ve known this guy for more than 4 years and we fall in love at the end. Life is always full of surprises.

Thursday, I've breakfast with my god brother who came back from Bangkok. It’s always so cool to hang around with good friends, talking, laughing and simply being yourself. Knowing that they love you for being you.

Saturday, in the evening, I went out with my family for dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday. One of my favourite cuisine, seafood.

Today I celebrate happiness. My life. My love. My family. My friends. My new house. My work.

Me, Myself and Me Time

Hey sorry to all my followers, I knew that I seldom blogging lately.

The other day, I've received a warm and caring oversea called from my beloved god brother. And that I realize I've been losing contacts with the outside world. Rarely online msn, no blogging, not even updating anything in facebook. Erm..and the worst thing is, I didn't realize it at all!

But no matter how hectic is my life, I always have time for myself.

By the time I was a young woman in my early 20s, I had worked overseas, gone through bumpy relationships, worked hard, partied hard, made friends, lost friends, earned money, spent money… all to realise one thing – that I was all over the place and I needed some stability.

Basically, I had to love myself a bit more.

I had to sit back and remember who I was.

So I slowed down. I learned how to enjoy my own company. How to be by myself.

I sat in cafes by myself. I sipped coffee and ate BLTs. I read books on park benches. I took long walks. I went jogging. I went shopping. I explored new places. Visited art galleries. Went to the beach. All by myself.

I loved it.

I loved the whacky conversations in my head. I loved how my creative juices would flow. I loved seeing the world with my own eyes and hearing my own thoughts.

And most of all, I loved being happy, positive, strong and confident. By myself.

Several years later, I might get married, travel a bit, move house, have children, and starting my new life as a wife and mother. A companion and a nurturer.

Never have I been happier. Yet, never have I realised the importance of ME TIME.

It’s easy to forget that I’m still Jessica.

It’s easy to forget that I once liked things like… kick boxing, Latin dancing, scuba diving, yoga, cycling, rock climbing, swimming..

It’s even easier to forget that, I once upon a time… I wanted to try wind surfing! Canoeing! White water rafting! I want to try a 3 day camping hike in the Australian bush! I want to climb Mount Kinabalu! I want to run more often in a marathon!

Life has been loaded with so much work. But in the other hand, life is sweet, joyful and as great as it could be.

I just love the way how it comes to me.

Life Sweetest Word

10 years ago, this month, we weren't in good place.

My dad had his first heart attacked. It was an aggressive attacked, resistant to heart operation, and there was no guarantee of success.That year, I was 16.

When everytime dad admitted hospital, everything that comes and goes, I sit and make myself remember it all.

I remember the bleakness. I remember driving through rain, towards the hospital, walking through a car park littered with leaves. I remember the smell of the corridors. The sounds of the machines and medicines. I remember having no joy in my spirit.

I remember trying to live - one day at the time. Having to concentrate on just getting through that single day. It was too painful to think about the future, or life. I would crumble at the thought of how the little things would never be the same - a family picnic in the park, a trip to the beach, a cup of tea at a cafe.

I remember thinking that I might lose my dad. That I would be sitting in our house, with every single object around me, reminding me of the one I love. That I might forget his face.

I remember the sheer focus and mental discipline that was needed to stop myself from going mad. The thousands of terrible and depressing thoughts, raining relentlessly in my head, images I couldn’t stop, clouding my view, gripping, choking, dragging me down to that deep, dark place.

I remember faith. Holding on to this really huge floating thing that kept my head above the water. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it, nor why I was doing it at the time, but it was big, much bigger than me, and it worked.

I remember the helplessness. I remember I couldn’t do a single thing to change anything. Nothing. Just hopelessness. Emptiness. And heart-wrenching sadness.

Then I snap out of it. I sit back from my reverie, and I think, Oh my God, how did I escape that one?

Did it really happen? Is this real? Am I REALLY sitting here with my dad and mum? With everyone smiling and laughing and happy as can be?

Why did things turn out like this? What on earth did I do to deserve it?

I’ve come to realise that the words “fate” and “destiny” are meaningless to me.

Whereas I discover one of life’s sweetest words - grace.

It heals all that is broken inside me, and makes me want to change my life. To live the best I can. With purpose. With significance. With gratitude. With happiness.

Happy Father's day to all of you.

And dad, I love you.

Will I?

my very best friend,
my special companion,
my perfect match,
my unwavering strength,
my glow of inspiration,
my favourite dive, hike, music & art buddy,
my efficient dish washer,
my talented handyman,
the father of my children,
my lover and only soul mate..

The one who rock my world, and make me a lucky woman.

Will I ever meet you in my life?

Turning 26 - Part II

Had a great Sunday at GOLD COAST, Morib.

So I’ve turned 26 this year. It’s an anti-climactic event really. Yes, I’m one year older.

I like to think that I’m a very strong, optimistic person with a positive outlook on life. Yet I’m getting pretty edgy about turning 30 soon. I’m not sure why. The feeling is so incompatible with the rest of my life.

My friends kindly point out that I already have my own business, and it's running pretty well, a house, gone through various difficulties in life, travelled, worked overseas – WHAT MORE DO I WANT?

I answer, “A soul mate, and MORE maybe?”

“What MORE IS THERE??”

Perhaps this MORE is a spiritual one – who am I, and what am I actually here on earth for? – Rather than the pursuit of a bigger house, bigger entertainment system and more expensive holidays.

I guess I genuinely feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. Accomplished what? I don’t know. I feel like I haven’t quite reached my potential – that I’ve been dabbling around the edges of something significant for most of my life.

I feel like I haven’t yet been able to fully spread my wings and SOAR over the world like I was supposed to. And something in me is burning and bursting to break out.

Ah, it sounds ridiculous.

On the other hand, I still feel like I’m 17. I still feel like a silly teenager, happy, girly, irresponsible and selfish. Deep down I don’t feel like a “grown up”. Will I ever feel like a grown up? Will I always feel 17?

And on the other OTHER hand, I know that there’s still SO MUCH in life to try, learn and experience! So much to do! I want it all! Life! Needs to be lived!

…

Roses again

Another bunch of flowers that sent to me in the evening.

Big smooch to all you lovely, generous people.

Thanks for all the presents, flowers and emails.

Aww, I feel all warm and fuzzy and loved.

一封感动的信息

今天，收到了一封从远方寄来的信息，短短的几个字，却让我忍不住又掉眼泪。。因为这世上再没有人比你更了解我了。。


you are not alone.

不知不觉我们好像都长大了，有各自的烦恼。有时候你跟我说，有时候你一个人藏着。

好心疼你。不过也明白有些事情你只能一个人去经历去承受。

然后才会更美更坚强。

加油！ :)

The Sweat

The days have been hot.

The heat is choking. I can’t escape it. The walls, the floor, the air. It’s everywhere.

My house is an oven. My skin is suffocating. My body is aching. And I am so tired.

All good things come to pass

The promise about --'all good things come to pass.' What it really means is -- all good things will come -- comma -- to pass. Nothing ever remains. Everything is always changing. Like that warning, 'even this shall pass away.' I suppose that includes the sadness, as well as the gladness. If you wait long enough, the gladness returns again.

A nice, warm bath and a cup of good, nourishing soup can solve any problem.

Yes. Tomorrow will be better. Not perfect, but better.

That Time Again

It’s not hard to guess the hormonal condition of a girl when she comes home with dinner consisting of vanilla ice cream, frozen Tim Tams and Ice Magic.

Personal Monthly Goals - Febraury 2009

I don’t think I’m a naturally disciplined and focused person.

I’m more of a “all over the place person”. I have so many interests and passions, that I often find myself losing focus.

I get easily distracted by problems and projects. I get side-tracked by interesting projects that pop up. Or I have little flits of inspiration that take up large amounts of time.

I think if I didn’t practice any self-discipline, I’d find myself 5 years down the track, thinking, “Huh? Where’d my life go? What did I do with my time?”

So I believe in setting personal and life goals.


Throughout 2008, I’ve made it a point to reflect and work on them every month. And I must say, I’ve found it to be very fulfilling and rewarding.

My goals for the new year are [still] very simple.

Take care of myself. Eat well. Live well. Exercise. Have time for myself. Balance my activities. Manage my stress and anxiety.

Take care of my family. Love my parents. Make time for them. Talk. Laugh. Be honest.

Take care of my pets. Have alone time with each of my pet. Talk to them. Play with them. Enjoy them. Create happy experiences for them.

Be part of my community. Make time for friends. Give my time to helping others. Organise gatherings.

I do have a few more ambitious goals. But these take second place to the ones mentioned above.

1) Develop and dedicate a bit more time and energy to this blog.

2) Run in a marathon more ofthen.

3) Master the guitar and keep upgrade my violin.

4) Learn to speak Korean and French.

感恩

二月，充满爱的月份。

今天又收到一个朋友的投诉说，喂你呀好久都没写部落格了。。。

想一想真的很久了。。

多久没有坐下好好地读一本书，
多久没有静静的听我爱的CD,
多久没有痛快的畅泳，
多久没有对人说。。。我，喜欢你呢？

那天晚上，有机会到一个环境幽美，四处都布满虫鸣，浪漫的公园。我真的很享受那份恬静的时刻，耳边传来爵士乐淡淡的旋律，眼前是伴着点点灯光绝美的湖泊。我竟呆呆的坐着，忘了身在何处。。

那晚，是难忘的夜晚。。太久没有过那样的时光了，感激那位带我去的朋友。

生活中有时候太匆忙，忘了要停下脚步，看一看身边的人事物。天上的星星从来没有离开过，然而人们却一直忘了抬头仰望，幸福其实一直就在身边。

假如命运折断了希望的风帆，请不要绝望，岸还在；假如命运凋零了美丽的花瓣，请不要沉沦，春还在；生活终有无尽的麻烦，请不要无奈，因为路还在，梦还在，阳光还在，我们还在。

感谢你，一直陪伴在我身边不离不弃的朋友。

Monthly Personal Goals - December 2008

It's already end of the year, it's December! My favorite month of all.

I love winter time, I love snow, I love Christmas, I love prezzies, and I love holidays! *goofy grin*

Every month I make myself think about my personal life goals.

I might set new goals, revisit on-going ones, check up on how I’m doing in various areas in my life. I’m not strict about it. It’s just nice to create a space for my thoughts.

My last few months of personal goals have been very simple – Everything is basically about keeping myself together, sane and healthy. Not to mention about my hectic working life, I want to continue living a balanced life.

I can’t exactly pinpoint a beginning, but I think I have always been plagued by a “wanting to achieve something”.

A wanting to be special. A desire do something significant. A yearning to stand out of the crowd in a special way. A hunger to be someone amazing and inspirational. To live an admirable life and make a difference.

I have always looked up to amazing women. Female scientists, politicians, designers, humanitarians, artists, writers, public figures. Women who have conquered illness, climbed mountains, helped build hospitals for dying children, inspired millions. I would read about their lives and be filled with utter amazement and awe.

And who am I? Absolutely nobody. Just plain old Jessica. Living in Kuala Lumpur.

Until I realised that my life is how I choose to live it.

I can sit back and envy others, or I can try to make a difference.

I can focus on my inadequacies and insecurities, or I can be significant in my very own special way.

So, here I am.

I am turning 26, and it is a new beginning.

Tuesday

I had a great weekend. It was a wonderful mix of friends, family, good movie, good food, good coffee, a sizzling barbecue and a slow walk in the warm sunshine. It was so good for the soul. And it was a nice contrast to the busy hectic week just past.

Today I’ve been twiddling away at some design work. Just some newsletter, flyer, next year calendar and poster designs for my church and music school. Simple stuff really. It’s really nice to be doing stuff for a non-profit organisation. It feels good to help people, to put in the extra effort, and to do it without expecting anything in return.

夜。。

凌晨四点， 依然无法入睡。

喜欢的音乐萦绕着耳边，顽皮的小野猫在房里到处乱蹦乱跳， 虽然防碍工作但也幸好有它的陪伴。。

工作完毕后， 身体已很疲累但脑袋还不肯休息，于是就流览朋友的部落格，发现了令我很感动的这一段：

爱一个人，要了解也要理解；要道歉也要道谢；要认错也要改错；要体贴也要体谅；是难忘而不是遗忘；是宽容而不是纵容；不要随便牵手，更不要随便放手。

爱一个人，要爱他的一切。无论这个人咫尺天涯还是近在眼前，都要为彼此坚定的守住那份只属于你们自己的信念。

真的，既然爱了，就别轻易放手。

--摘自Winson 《爱情，不知道哪一站才是终点》

圣经曰：

"爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐；爱是永不止息。"（《新约·哥林多前书》第1 3章）

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant nor rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrong doing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 　
　
从古到今不知有多少人因这段话而坚信基督，基督教是"爱的宗教"，这就是使徒保罗对爱的诠释。

我也相信，一切自有上帝最美好的安排。

漫长的夜晚

今天，我过得即充实又快乐。

很久没用华语写部落格。每当夜幕来临，心情就会跟着低落。。不过倒享受独处的时光。假日的快乐让我整理好照片再和大家分享， 现在。。我想介绍这首歌给大家。

很爱很爱，真的很爱这首歌。元若蓝表达的很好，每一个字，每一个音符都牵动我的心。

元若藍 - 半情歌(偶像劇《命中注定我愛你》插曲)
作詞：陳靜楠
作曲：方文良
編曲：吳俊毅

花 接受凋零 風 接受追尋
心的傷還有一些不要緊
我接受你的決定

你將會被誰抱緊 唱什么歌哄他開心
我想著天空什么時候會放晴
地球不曾為誰停一停

你的明天 有多快樂 不是我的
我們的愛是唱一半的歌
時間把習慣換了 傷口愈合
也撤銷我再想你的資格

你的祝福 一半甜的 一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人殘念的總是未完成的
我只能唱著 一半的歌

你將會被誰抱緊 唱什么歌哄他開心
我想著天空什么時候會放晴
地球不曾為誰停一停

你的明天 有多快樂 不是我的
我們的愛是唱一半的歌
時間把習慣換了 傷口愈合
也撤銷我再想你的資格

你的祝福 一半甜的 一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人殘念的總是未完成的
我只能唱著 一半的歌

我的明天 快不快樂 都是我的
我們的愛是唱一半的歌
時間把習慣換了 傷口愈合
也撤銷我再想你的資格

你的祝福 一半甜的 一半苦的
像我手中冷掉的可可
最最教人殘念的 總是未完成的
另一半的歌

想听这歌的，请按这里
如果你有看这部剧，那感受可能更深刻。

夜，已很深了。。
今晚的夜特别漫长。。

A Breather

I'd like to share a wonderful article to everyone today.

What Happens in Heaven.

I gotta slow down.

My life is insanely crazy with activity. Everyday is a huge adventure. People. Parties. Dinners. Lunches. Gatherings. Shopping. Visiting. Organising. Cooking. Running the studio.

I just want a day where I do NOTHING.

I want to put my feet up. I want to remember how to be still. To contemplate and have meaningful thoughts. To remember that life is good. That things could be worse.

And that my little problems aren’t so bad in the bigger scale of things.