Happiness

Wow that one crept up on me. I remember it was January not so long ago. Now we’re halfway through the year.

6 months have gone. And there are 6 months left. What happened? What did I achieve? What were the highlights? And now, what am I going to do with the rest of the year?

Out of habit, I like to claim July for myself. All of it.

I like to indulge myself a little. I like to buy myself something new. I like to organise a party for myself, or two. I like to think of something I’ve always wanted to do, and heck, just do it.

I also like to sit back and remember the good things in my life. I like to celebrate the stuff that really matter.

My God, my life has been changed.

Most of the days, I went out to dinner, movie, and do some outdoor activities with my love. We have so much to say to each other. I’m astounded that I’ve known this guy for more than 4 years and we fall in love at the end. Life is always full of surprises.

Thursday, I've breakfast with my god brother who came back from Bangkok. It’s always so cool to hang around with good friends, talking, laughing and simply being yourself. Knowing that they love you for being you.

Saturday, in the evening, I went out with my family for dinner to celebrate my mum's birthday. One of my favourite cuisine, seafood.

Today I celebrate happiness. My life. My love. My family. My friends. My new house. My work.

Me, Myself and Me Time

Hey sorry to all my followers, I knew that I seldom blogging lately.

The other day, I've received a warm and caring oversea called from my beloved god brother. And that I realize I've been losing contacts with the outside world. Rarely online msn, no blogging, not even updating anything in facebook. Erm..and the worst thing is, I didn't realize it at all!

But no matter how hectic is my life, I always have time for myself.

By the time I was a young woman in my early 20s, I had worked overseas, gone through bumpy relationships, worked hard, partied hard, made friends, lost friends, earned money, spent money… all to realise one thing – that I was all over the place and I needed some stability.

Basically, I had to love myself a bit more.

I had to sit back and remember who I was.

So I slowed down. I learned how to enjoy my own company. How to be by myself.

I sat in cafes by myself. I sipped coffee and ate BLTs. I read books on park benches. I took long walks. I went jogging. I went shopping. I explored new places. Visited art galleries. Went to the beach. All by myself.

I loved it.

I loved the whacky conversations in my head. I loved how my creative juices would flow. I loved seeing the world with my own eyes and hearing my own thoughts.

And most of all, I loved being happy, positive, strong and confident. By myself.

Several years later, I might get married, travel a bit, move house, have children, and starting my new life as a wife and mother. A companion and a nurturer.

Never have I been happier. Yet, never have I realised the importance of ME TIME.

It’s easy to forget that I’m still Jessica.

It’s easy to forget that I once liked things like… kick boxing, Latin dancing, scuba diving, yoga, cycling, rock climbing, swimming..

It’s even easier to forget that, I once upon a time… I wanted to try wind surfing! Canoeing! White water rafting! I want to try a 3 day camping hike in the Australian bush! I want to climb Mount Kinabalu! I want to run more often in a marathon!

Life has been loaded with so much work. But in the other hand, life is sweet, joyful and as great as it could be.

I just love the way how it comes to me.

Life Sweetest Word

10 years ago, this month, we weren't in good place.

My dad had his first heart attacked. It was an aggressive attacked, resistant to heart operation, and there was no guarantee of success.That year, I was 16.

When everytime dad admitted hospital, everything that comes and goes, I sit and make myself remember it all.

I remember the bleakness. I remember driving through rain, towards the hospital, walking through a car park littered with leaves. I remember the smell of the corridors. The sounds of the machines and medicines. I remember having no joy in my spirit.

I remember trying to live - one day at the time. Having to concentrate on just getting through that single day. It was too painful to think about the future, or life. I would crumble at the thought of how the little things would never be the same - a family picnic in the park, a trip to the beach, a cup of tea at a cafe.

I remember thinking that I might lose my dad. That I would be sitting in our house, with every single object around me, reminding me of the one I love. That I might forget his face.

I remember the sheer focus and mental discipline that was needed to stop myself from going mad. The thousands of terrible and depressing thoughts, raining relentlessly in my head, images I couldn’t stop, clouding my view, gripping, choking, dragging me down to that deep, dark place.

I remember faith. Holding on to this really huge floating thing that kept my head above the water. I wasn’t exactly sure what to do with it, nor why I was doing it at the time, but it was big, much bigger than me, and it worked.

I remember the helplessness. I remember I couldn’t do a single thing to change anything. Nothing. Just hopelessness. Emptiness. And heart-wrenching sadness.

Then I snap out of it. I sit back from my reverie, and I think, Oh my God, how did I escape that one?

Did it really happen? Is this real? Am I REALLY sitting here with my dad and mum? With everyone smiling and laughing and happy as can be?

Why did things turn out like this? What on earth did I do to deserve it?

I’ve come to realise that the words “fate” and “destiny” are meaningless to me.

Whereas I discover one of life’s sweetest words - grace.

It heals all that is broken inside me, and makes me want to change my life. To live the best I can. With purpose. With significance. With gratitude. With happiness.

Happy Father's day to all of you.

And dad, I love you.

Addicted to: Body Butters

There’s something very special about rubbing nutty butter all over your body on a warm, balmy evening. My personal favourites are the Shea, Cocoa, and Coconut range from The Body Shop.

Kookai - Autumn 2009

I have been dying to do some shopping! So much so, I can’t work out where to shop and what to buy first… I’m almost jittery with excitement. Ok a bit sad, I know.

Kookai’s latest Autumn collection caught my eye, and thought it might be a nice place to start. I like.

Today's Sunshine

My 1 month old kitten, Tigger. Happy, sparkly-eyed and always full of energy.

Enjoying their milk at the wonderful noon.

Will I?

my very best friend,
my special companion,
my perfect match,
my unwavering strength,
my glow of inspiration,
my favourite dive, hike, music & art buddy,
my efficient dish washer,
my talented handyman,
the father of my children,
my lover and only soul mate..

The one who rock my world, and make me a lucky woman.

Will I ever meet you in my life?

Turning 26 - Part II

Had a great Sunday at GOLD COAST, Morib.

So I’ve turned 26 this year. It’s an anti-climactic event really. Yes, I’m one year older.

I like to think that I’m a very strong, optimistic person with a positive outlook on life. Yet I’m getting pretty edgy about turning 30 soon. I’m not sure why. The feeling is so incompatible with the rest of my life.

My friends kindly point out that I already have my own business, and it's running pretty well, a house, gone through various difficulties in life, travelled, worked overseas – WHAT MORE DO I WANT?

I answer, “A soul mate, and MORE maybe?”

“What MORE IS THERE??”

Perhaps this MORE is a spiritual one – who am I, and what am I actually here on earth for? – Rather than the pursuit of a bigger house, bigger entertainment system and more expensive holidays.

I guess I genuinely feel like I haven’t accomplished anything yet. Accomplished what? I don’t know. I feel like I haven’t quite reached my potential – that I’ve been dabbling around the edges of something significant for most of my life.

I feel like I haven’t yet been able to fully spread my wings and SOAR over the world like I was supposed to. And something in me is burning and bursting to break out.

Ah, it sounds ridiculous.

On the other hand, I still feel like I’m 17. I still feel like a silly teenager, happy, girly, irresponsible and selfish. Deep down I don’t feel like a “grown up”. Will I ever feel like a grown up? Will I always feel 17?

And on the other OTHER hand, I know that there’s still SO MUCH in life to try, learn and experience! So much to do! I want it all! Life! Needs to be lived!

…

New York's Les Ballets Grandiva - Men In Tutus

If you think ballet is all work and no play, Les Ballet Grandiva is set to prove you wrong. Originally from New York, Les Ballet Grandiva is an all-male comedy ballet company founded by its director Victor Trevino. Running in its tenth year, Les Ballet Grandiva has earned the reputation of being the most spectacular, talented and hilarious all-male comedy ballet ever. Les Ballet Grandiva has more than fifty ballets in its repertoire and some of the best male dancers under the company’s wing.

"Men In Tutu" is the ultimate send-up of both classical and contemporary ballet, combining brilliant dancing techmique, toungue-in-cheek humour, dancing mishaps and, of course, hissy fits by men playing both male and famale roles!

Fresh from their sell-out tour of Europe and Asia, this critically acclaimed company has toured the world over: China, Japan, France, Italy and South Korea. Making a stop in Malaysia for the very first time.

One of the best show of the year. It's absolutely hilarious, made me laugh until rolled on the floor!

Here is the video preview of "MEN IN TUTUS".

Enjoy :)

Men in Tutus 08:30PM - 08 May 2009, 03:00PM - 09 May 2009, 08:30PM - 09 May 2009, 02:00PM - 10 May 2009, 06:00PM - 10 May 2009, 08:30PM - 12 May 2009, 08:30PM - 13 May 2009, 08:30PM - 14 May 2009, 08:30PM - 15 May 2009, 03:00PM - 16 May 2009, 08:30PM - 16 May 2009, 02:00PM - 17 May 2009, 06:00PM - 17 May 2009

Filed under The Arts
Venue: Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre Train: Sentul (KTM)Address: Sentul Park, Jalan Strachan, Off Jalan Ipoh, Kuala Lumpur TrainPrice: RM88 – RM222 Contact: 03-4047 9000 E-mail: N/A Website: http://www.klpac.org/

It's finally over!

The Ballet exam has finally over! Yahoo~

Ahh.. but it's just a beginning of another big task! And I shall share it later at here.

May everyone has a wonderful weekend and Happy Mother's day to all of you! ^^